Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

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Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby MCA » Fri Sep 23, 2005 5:14 pm

Hi all

On an autism/aspergers list I am on a Mom posted these IEP modifications her son has in place to avoid being bullied. I was really struck by how simple yet incredibly effective they were and asked if she minded if I posted them elsewhere. She said to go ahead and even keep the names!

I particularly love the gym class one. What a crock of $$%^ gym class is for those who are akward or unathletic. I have heard of parents getting permission to replace school PE with an outside class like Karate or DAnce, and avoiding the whole problem of locker room and gym class cruelty and humiliation.

I am going to keep this one for years. I really compliment this Mom for saving her kiddo from potentially emotionally scarring, lifelong painful memories. And all it takes is, among other things, leaving 3 minutes before the other kids in class to avoid getting "attacked" in the hallway.

If the school won't help, G-d bless the parents who take care of the problem themselves.

You are not alone, I assure you. I don't know what the answer is, but you can have guidelines written in your IEP to avoid certain situations. I don't know what state you are in, but here are some things we have done to avoid certain trigger bullying times:

Kenny is able to go to the bus stop AS it approaches, instead of waiting with the other kids. I also fought for him to be the last one picked up in the morning, and the first dropped off in the afternoon.He also sits in the very front.

He leaves every class 3 minutes early in transition times, to avoid hallway conflicts.

He does not attend gym class.

He goes to the bathroom closest to the front office, it is at a time type.

We also have a "clause" written in about retaliation, it is unheard of here to protect yourself, in fact, he could be suspended, etc. We had it written that if it is retaliation, he will not be reprimanded.

There is a great book written by Rebekah Heinrichs, Perfect Targets, Asperger Syndrome & Bullying. You could probably get it used on

We start school in August here, and these things have helped a great deal.

We are working very hard with Kenny about "silent thoughts", he uses a fidget toy when he has the urge to say something he shouldn't.(even if he is right!)

And this is the mother's response to my request to reprint her post... what a rock star she is...

Deb! You made me cry!!!! Just when you think you're thick skinned......

Please, cut, paste, what ever you need to do. Keep names, I don't care.

The modifications sadden me, in the way that the school has a "no bullying" policy, but not enforced in the least. So, unfortunately, these changes shortchange Kenny, BUT more importantly keep him safe. It was a huge battle getting them in place & making sure they are applied.

Bullying is a very disturbing situation. It effects the entire family. It requires a huge amount of time in the damage control department. Kenny went from being so innocent, to learning & applying these behaviors to his little sister, who by the way, is his biggest cheerleader. What I cannot come to terms with is the parents of the bullies. We have one child in our neighborhood that just won't stop. I have tried to no avail to talk to his mom. Last Sunday, Kenny was shot in the face by this boy with a pellet gun. 1 inch below the eye. I have left messages for the mom almost every hour since, still no response. The severity is overwhelming, and I remember when this all started, on the bus, in school, I could not repeat the stories to my husband without crying. As time went on, I got tougher, and I guess in a way, publicizing it helps. I am presently working with NBC on doing a series on the spectrum & bullying. The common denominator seems to be that our children "look" normal, but when their quirkiness lets out.......there we go. Kids are cruel.

Sorry for rambling! Thank you for your kind words.

b's mom
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Postby b's mom » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:12 am

I don't know HOW I feel about this. I have such mixed emotions.

As I read the list of things that mom does to avoid her child from getting bullied, that's all I could think is how sad this is and how much it makes sense because I will tell you that what I got from our experience with my daughter being harrassed was "FORGET THE SCHOOL HELPING YOU". The school's way of handling this is to put it all back on the person complaining. "You need coping skills, your child is perceiving this wrong...." I would have handled it another way if I could go back.

The most difficult thing to take was sending my daughter to school with those 2 girls giving her a hard time and nobody did a darn thing. Her teacher was clueless and rude and didn't plan on doing anything about my daughter sitting aross from a girl that glares at her while taking tests... my daughter's grades went down that year only from As and Bs to Bs and Cs and kept going down until school was finished. She is now on principal's honor roll but it took 2 years to get back into the swing and to her straight As again but we are certain she would have easily made teh gifted program in language arts if this never happened. What does the school care tho. they have too many children to actually be concerned over one's future. How sad when my husband brought up that my daughter's grades were going down the teacher simply said, "I know." That was it.

I obviously didn't get along too well with the counselor as my daughter wanted nothing to do with her. I guess who could blame her when your being told "YOU need coping skills...." and nothing about what's so unfair that the school is not protecting her as well.

You would think it would be common sense to make sure those girls are not together the following year in middle school right? Well... The next year they put my daughter and the bully in EVERY SINGLE MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASS TOGETHER!!! Let me tell you that with all the grade schools coming together and the number of children her age... the odds of that happening... It was completely against the odds. To this day I think that counselor purposefully got those girls together in each class. The grade school counselor left the school the following year.

The middle school counselor had called me about a meltdown my daughter had at the beginning of 6th grade. Well what the heck did they expect. She was scared to death that it was going to start all over again. But all summer long I worked with my daughter on how to stick up for herself and being a jerk now and then is OK!!! I had raised her too soft and to be too kind but sometimes you have to stick up for yourself because NOBODY ELSE IS THERE TO DO IT FOR YOU. We talked and worked things out and by the time middle school came, she was ready. Sure enough that girl tried her crap with my daughter. My daughter had made friends quickly and was so happy but that girl came up and physically got between her and her new friends. My daughter got IN HER FACE and said, "excuse me.. I was talking..." My daughter learned to stick up for herself. This happened over and over. The new freinds ended up being friends with the bully later in the year but it was Ok. My daughter was so strong she didn't hold it against them.

My role was to constantly tell her our family is a unit and we are here for each other and no matter what happens with friends (they come and go) we are always a family.... that helped her tremendously.

Bullying is such a touchy subject for me. It was as difficult as getting Bobby diagnosed probably because as a parent you see your child getting hurt and there is not a darn thing you can do about it. Indeed, the more you try, the more your ignored -just a complainging parent... you know your not getting help but things are getting worse and you send your child off to school in this mess every single day. ugh

What a sad post that that mom had to do all that to avoid her son the trouble of bullying. I am doing all I can to avoid this for my son. I tell Bobby all the time to stick up for himself. If he gets into trouble at school for speaking his mind to a kid that's giving him trouble I do NOT reprimand him. I might make suggestions for other ways to handle it but I am proud when he sticks up for himself. The schools want the kids to be quiet and peaceful (like our kids) but they don't protect them from the ones that are not. There is something seriously wrong with that!

B, 10, AS
LMB Bell V/V & OCN, pragmatic lang, fiber, vits, avoid gluten, Nord Nat omega 3-6-9.

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Postby mouseker » Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:43 pm

This whole topic pisses me off! My daughter (NT) got into trouble at school one day for breaking a window with a rock. They couldn't get her to tell them what had happened and wanted me to teach her about taking responsibility for breaking the window and paying for it. Which I was willing to do even after I found out what happened.

A girl (who we've had problems with for two years) plays these head games with her "Friends". She got mad at my daughter for telling her she didn't want to play with her and to go away. So she threw the rock at my daughter and hit her in the shoulder. My daughter instead of throwing it back at her in her anger threw it at the wall of the building and missed breaking the window. I told her that I was proud of her not throwing it back at the other girl and next time she should just punch her in the shoulder, never in the head. Then I talked to the principle and told her exactly what I told my daughter following up with "I will teach her to stick up for herself so other kids won't bully her" .

The principle said she should find a teacher, I said I would tell her to try that first and then if there isn't then she should hit back. The principle didn't really have anything to say to that. I did still have her work at home to pay the five dollars for the window because she did break it.

I did talk to the mom of the girl several times over the past couple of years and all I really got from her was that she'd tried everything and nothing she'd done had worked. So what I got from the mom was that she'd given up.

This little girls favourite manipulation was to pick one friend to be her friend for the day and then get that one to tease all of the other kids by threatening to not be her friend. Where this girl got such subtle manipulation techniques at five years of age has me concerned. But I realized that having friends was really important to her since it was what she was using as a threat it was what she cared about.

So I went and talked to the parents of the other kids she played with and got them to agree to ground their kids if they got caught teasing the others along with this little girl. Then I sat her down and told her exactly what was going to happen. (There were several older kids who didn't like her as their youngest sister was a frequent target) I told her I had people watching her and I would know if she did this again and that everytime she did I would get her friend grounded until no one would want to play with her anymore because they always got grounded when they did and she wouldn't have any friends anymore. It took me getting her friends grounded three times before she stopped. Then the next year I had to have this talk with her one more time and that was it.

It took following up on my threat and talking to the other parents in the neighborhood and getting their agreement (which quite frankly wasn't hard).

I was mad because my daughter was one of her friends and was one of the first three to get grounded. My daughter was learning behaviors from her I really didn't want her to have.

One of the other things I did was when this little brats older brother brought her and another girl my daughter and the brat both played with to my door because my daughter had punched them both. It turned out that the brat had been teasing her and punched her first but the other girl hadn't. I made my daughter apologize to the other girl and told the brat in front of her brother that she didn't deserve an apology and got what she deserved as she'd punched my daughter first.

I really hope he took that home and told his parents.


Postby Guest » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:45 pm

Hi guys, I couldn't agree with you more about how it's the bullies that need to be taken care of, and not the victims.

What I posted the modifications for were in a situation where the children were much older, and when the "victim" child was exacerbating the problem.

this is why I liked them... when the kids get to middle and high school they aren't going to be listening to us, and they aren't going to want us to call the parents of the probably "cool" kids involved. The woman who used these strategies I posted had a middle schooler, I believe. I also believe she exhausted multiple other avenues before making the modifications; I'd have to find her whole post.

I think what was happening was that her child was having difficulty keeping his thoughts to himself and was actually, by choice, engaging the other children in that typical aspergers "honest" way, and it just wasn't cool. She was up a creek because she couldn't stop her child from purposefully and directly (and publicly) engaging these bullies (i.e. going up to them after school and lecturing them why their smoking was bad for their health, giving surgeon general opinion and giving statistics and so on) and I think that is why she had to minimize her child's unstructured interactions.

Mouseker, you are like the parent I wish I could be with the strategy you developed and how you not only took matters into your own hands, you were able to convince others to go along. I do not have the social finesse to pull that off.

Audrey, I am so floored they put that little bully in every single class. I am so proud of you for teaching your child how to "fight" back.

I just don't have these skills. I get angry and flustered and would be more likely to threaten the school to take care of it than take care of it myself. Not proud to admit that at all, but it's the truth. We have not yet encountered intense, targeted bullying, but I know it's coming. I pray when that comes along I find solutions like you guys did. Once again you are an inspiration to me.


Postby Guest » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:46 pm

sorry, thought I logged in.

Deb / Mommy in CA

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Postby mouseker » Sun Sep 25, 2005 11:07 pm

Deb I get the same way it took me six months to come up with this strategy and trying everything else.

I do see where the frustrations for this mom would come from when her son doesn't understand the teen rules of social engagement which would lead to bullying, It pisses me off that the victim gets in trouble instead of the bully. I really couldn't let that go. I tend to get really angry with stuff like that and would probably take it to the school board. If it was my kid that got suspended instead.

I can't believe the audacity of some people that they put her in every class with that other girl- oh let's force them together and let them work it out?! Yeah right, like that works :x

I get so worked up about this topic, I got teased a lot being a bit top heavy during this period and it didn't stop until I threw soda on one of the guys doing the teasing.

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Re: Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby Winnie » Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:05 pm


A Watch-dog Organization - Advocating for Bullied Children
& Reporting on State Anti Bullying Laws

Some site contents and links (follow above link to site in order to access links):

Definitions: From a Victim's Point of View
Refusal (not inability) to think rationally about themselves and others
Small scale Terrorist, with behavior mostly taking place during school time
Justifies harmful activities towards others with self psychological excuses ("I want to appear tough and in control")
Enjoys enforcing power on others and causing extreme fear
Over-bearing person who tyrannizes the non-violent and physically less strong
To rule by intimidation, terror
Threatens or acts violence on others
(The only differences between a terrorist and a bully, is in the organized planning or cause of the activity, and the scale of terror. A bullied child will believe that there is no difference between a terrorist and a bully, given the above definitions.)
90% of students felt being bullied caused social, emotional, or academic problems. (Studies show, both bullies & victims have problems later in life because of bullying.
69% of students believe schools respond poorly to reports of bullying.
Three out of four students report that they have been bullied.
Each month over 250,000 students report being physically attacked.
Bully Police USA Helpful Webpages
Home Page
The Bullies Rule the School Award
The School Rules the Bullies Award
BPUSA Consultants and Trainers
Making the Grade - How States are "Graded"
Anti Bullying Programs that Work Help for Parents
Helpful Links and Supporters
BPUSA, National, & Lawsuit News
Page of Honor
Video Messages - The Video Page

Bully Police USA Helpful Information via PDF or Word Files
Estimates of Children Involved in Bullying
State to State - List of BPUSA Volunteers
A List of Recommended Speakers
Example of a Anti Bullying Policy
The Parent & Student Bill of Rights
The Teachers Page - Ideas What a "Perfect" Anti Bullying Law Might Look Like
A List of Recommended Books
"Cyberbashing" - Letter to a Congressman
A Bullying Awareness Proclamation
Why Not Have A Bullying Awareness Week?
Why Have anti Bullying Laws?
Terms of Use
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Re: Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby Winnie » Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:15 pm


Bullying and Special Needs: Walk a Mile in Their Shoes

pdf file -- 65 pages: ... -shoes.pdf


Julia Nimir, a young woman with Down syndrome and subject of the documentary “Walking in my Shoes,” was bullied most of her life. She shared through her personal experience that the most important thing in ending the bullying of a child with special needs is “having people learn to walk a mile in their shoes.”

The journey addressing the issue of bullying and children with special needs began when identified the need to provide information to parents who all too often struggle to find ways to help their child with bullying. Over the course of several months, interviewed experts, educators and parents regarding this escalating issue facing children with special needs. It became apparent that the demographic most vulnerable to bullying also had the fewest resources.

A voice for these families is missing from the national dialogue. This report and guide is an effort to make that voice heard. These children and parents are desperate for resources, advocates and awareness so the physical and emotional toll their children experience may be prevented. They need their children’s classmates, teachers and community to “walk a mile in their shoes.”, an online hub and information resource for parents of children with special needs, provides over 90 years of experience serving individuals with disabilities through the nonprofit that created it, Community Gatepath. Their staff and network of doctors, therapists and early childhood specialists are experts in serving the needs of adults and children with disabilities; however, it was realized that very few in their industry are experts when it comes to bullying and the child with special needs.

In recognizing the need for this critical issue to be addressed, created this report and guide to achieve the following:

Educate all parents on the issue. Both parents and experts shared with the limited information that is available specific to the issues faced by children with special needs.

Empower parents and educators to take action and apply meaningful change in the classroom and these children’s lives by providing educational as well as legal options in an effort to prevent and/or fight back against bullies.

Assist policy makers, school administrators and professionals in a team effort to ensure that this issue is at the forefront in the public arena when bullying is discussed, researched or legislated. It is clear that the U.S. is nearly a decade behind other nations when implementing, legislating or researching policies regarding bullying and children with special needs.

Featured content in the Bullying and Special Needs Report

The Testimonials: A first hand perspective from parents and children
The Targets: Why children with special needs are frequent victims
The Signs: What every parent should know about bullying
The Cyberbully: Bullying in the age of Facebook and YouTube
The Teachable Moment: Opportunities in the classroom to educate
The IEP: Addressing bullying and a child's IEP
The Law: Parent's rights in the fight against bullies
The Experts: Learning best practices from parents of children with special needs
Disable Bullying!
Bullying Resources
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Re: Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby Winnie » Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:21 pm

IAN Launches Survey on Bullying and Children with ASD ... ing_survey

The Interactive Autism Network (IAN) Research project is launching a survey focused on bullying and children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD).

Bullying has been identified as a major problem for children on the autism spectrum who, because of their social deficits and other challenges, are believed to be especially vulnerable targets. Children with ASD may be harassed not only in the typical way, but also when a bully purposely "triggers" an affected child’s meltdown. The Bullying and School Experiences of Children with ASD Survey will collect information on a variety of bullying situations from a large number of families to explore the extent of these problems in the lives of children with ASD.

The survey was developed by IAN’s autism experts in partnership with Dr. Catherine Bradshaw, Associate Director of the Center for the Prevention of Youth Violence and Co-Director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Prevention and Early Intervention where she collaborates on research projects examining bullying and school climate. She has served on several expert panels on bullying, including the 2011 White House Bullying Summit.

Researchers need information from families of children with a wide range of experiences in order to make comparisons and evaluate risk factors. We therefore ask families of children on the autism spectrum to take the survey whether or not their child has been bullied.

Who Can Participate?

To take the survey, you must be:

•The parent of a child with an ASD who is currently between the ages of 6 and 15.
•Enrolled in the Interactive Autism Network (IAN) Research project.
To register, visit
•Living in the United States or its territories.

If you are already participating in IAN Research, the Bullying and School Experiences of Children with ASD Survey should now appear in your Family Profile under the name of your child with ASD. Simply log in at (Remember: if you've forgotten your password or IAN User ID, click on "forgot my password or IAN ID.")

If you have any questions, please contact the IAN Research team at 866-348-3440 or We are here to help.
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Re: Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby Winnie » Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:25 pm

Bullying and ASD

Teresa Foden
IAN Assistant Editor

Connie Anderson, Ph.D.
IAN Community Scientific Liaison

Kennedy Krieger Institute

Date First Published: August 25, 2010
Date Last Revised: November 2, 2011

Being the victim of a childhood bully can have a lasting impact, including depression and diminished socioeconomic status, into adulthood. 1,2,3 Many adults who were once victims of bullying vividly recall the feelings of intimidation, the sometimes-daily battering of self-esteem. Many also recall the hands-off attitude that used to be common among teachers, principals, and other adults. Fortunately, bullying, which was once considered a normal and unavoidable part of the schoolyard landscape, is now viewed as a much more serious matter.

The issue of bullying may be particularly worrisome for parents of children with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). In this article, we will explore how children with ASD are particularly at risk of becoming victims of bullying. We will also discuss how they may act out in a way that leads to their being identified as bullies. In either case, parents, teachers, and school staff need to know how to help them through the difficulties involved.

What Is Bullying?

Bullying can take many forms. It can be verbal, involving threats or derogatory remarks. It can be physical or behavioral, as when a bully hits, pushes, steals a victim's lunch, or holds his nose every time the victim enters a room. It can also be relational, as when a child is deliberately excluded from social events, or vicious rumors about a child are intentionally spread. It can be conducted in traditional style, on playground, in classroom, and in cafeteria, or via text message and Facebook -- the new and insidious "cyber-bullying."

Virtually every child feels bullied at one time or another, but researchers define bullying as something more than incidental or passing acts of cruelty. Central to the research definition of bullying is that it occurs repeatedly. There also must be a power differential, a situation where the victim is perceived as less physically, psychologically, or socially powerful than the aggressor. 4,5,6 Bullying not only damages the victim's self-esteem, but also harms his ability to establish relationships within the peer group.

But bullying can be difficult to put into words. Of course, there are the obvious physical actions or verbal taunts. But what about when classmates get together and decide to boycott a victim's party? Or when a child "befriends" a child who doesn't quite fit in, as a form of social humiliation, smirking and looking around to make sure his friends are watching as his victim fawns all over him in utter gratitude? What about the onlookers? Are they watching, even laughing, because they are bullies, too? Are they perhaps fearful of being targeted, or are they expressing discomfort?

The consequences of allowing bullying to run its course during childhood can be devastating to the individual and the family, as well as to society. School shootings have heightened our awareness of the degree of damage that can result from bullying. Within months of the April 1999 Columbine High School shooting in Littleton, Colorado, the U.S. Secret Service and the U.S. Department of Education launched a study examining 37 school shootings and other violence specifically targeting schools. Among the study's findings: 71% of the attackers, including the two youths who attacked their classmates at Columbine, felt bullied, harassed, or otherwise threatened before the attack. 7 A number of other studies have shown a link between being bullied, or bullying, and suicide. 8,9 As society becomes increasingly aware of the consequences of bullying, schools are developing anti-bullying policies However, bullying often involves activities that remain below the school's radar. A certain degree of conflict can be expected in youth peer groups and, as researchers have noted, "Unless many attackers beat one victim (rare on school grounds), no school disciplinarian can reliably differentiate physical bullying from self-defense, friendly quarrels, and good-natured rough-housing -- none of which requires serious punishment. Since perception is crucial, an identical shove, insult, or brush-off can be inconsequential or devastating; bullies, victims, peers, and adults do not agree." 10

Children with ASD: A Special Case

Bullying and social exclusion are not unusual experiences, particularly for children with medical or developmental issues, 11,12 and it is clear that isolated children who lack social skills are at increased risk for bullying. 4,10,13 Given this, researchers are now asking whether children with ASD, with their characteristic social deficits, are especially vulnerable. 14,15 It is not hard for parents of children on the autism spectrum to imagine the scenarios: their child's inability to "read" the social signs that someone doesn't have her best interest at heart; the eagerness to please that can make him easy to manipulate; the tendency to say what he thinks without a full understanding of consequences. How can a child recognize a potential bully when he lacks the ability to see so many of the clues, the hard edge of mounting frustration or sarcasm in the tone of voice; the smug look of a popular girl asking him out on a date, on a dare; the "friend" who persuades him to unknowingly commit an offense that brings on discipline from the teacher?

"The inability of children with autism to stand up for themselves and the ease with which they can be reduced to tears of rage or frustration by others make them 'perfect victims,'" writes ASD researcher and writer, Patricia Howlin. She adds, "Often they are unclear if they are being bullied, or if what is happening in their own fault...." 16

Because their disability is less obvious, and because they are often placed in mainstream classrooms, children with high-functioning ASD may be at particular risk. In one New York study, parents completed questionnaires about how their children with Asperger syndrome fared with their peers in school. Some reported that their children were "egged on," with one child told to "run like a bull," only to be taunted that he was a freak when he complied; how another child's picture on the bulletin board had the eyes scratched out; how yet another child who had endured prolonged bullying expressed a desire to be "put in the street and run over." 17

A study of special needs children attending regular-education schools in The Netherlands showed that peers were more likely to recognize the imbalance of power and intervene when a classmate with Down syndrome or a physical impairment was targeted by bullies, but were more likely to reject students with behavior problems stemming from pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) and/or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). 18

In a recent U.S. study of more than 400 children, aged 4 to 17, with Asperger syndrome or nonverbal learning disorder (a disorder involving similar social challenges), mothers reported that 75% of the children had been hit or emotionally bullied by peers or siblings during the previous year. 12 Peer shunning, or exclusion from peer activities, also occurred at high rates: A third of the children had not been invited to a birthday party during the previous year, and many ate lunch alone or were the last picked for teams. Overall, these figures -- at least twice as high as the average prevalence of bullying and ostracism reported in national and international studies of the general population of children and adolescents 4,12,19 -- demonstrate the high degree of bullying and isolation many of these children experience.

High-functioning children also may be vulnerable because, despite stereotypes that characterize them as content to be alone, they often do long for friendship. In her book, Perfect Targets: Asperger Syndrome and Bullying, Rebekah Heinrichs writes: "In some instances, they are likely to tolerate a higher level of abuse from their peers in exchange for attention or possible friendship. As one young man with AS stated, 'I'd rather be with kids who aren't nice to me than be alone, ignored, and invisible.'" 20

How Do You Know When Your Child is Being Bullied?

Many children who are bullied do not report it to parents or other adults. 21 In addition to this general tendency not to tell, children with ASD may be nonverbal, and so unable to communicate that they are being bullied, or they may have fluent language skills, but be unable to interpret the situation.

Not recognizing genuine bullying can make a child with ASD a likely ongoing victim. Asperger expert Tony Attwood asserts: "Children with Asperger Syndrome have several problems with regard to reporting being a target. They have impaired Theory of Mind abilities; that is, difficulty determining the thoughts and intentions of others in comparison to their peers. They may not intuitively know that the acts of other children are examples of bullying. They can sometimes consider that such behaviour is typical play and something that they have come to accept as yet another confusing behaviour of their peers." 22

To further complicate matters, children with ASD also may have trouble distinguishing bullying from good-natured teasing. When all parties are having fun, it's not bullying, a concept that may be difficult for a child with ASD to grasp. A child who overreacts and bursts into sobs or too easily assumes malicious intent and retaliates may soon be left out of the very "child's play" that might help her learn the skills that will help her fit in. A child who doesn't recognize that the same behavior that was funny only moments ago has turned irritating may prolong a behavior to the point where it provokes others.

There are some signs parents can look for to determine when it may be time to contact the school about potential bullying. Parents of a child with ASD who has become a target may notice that possessions have been lost or damaged, or that clothing has been torn, according to Attwood. They also may notice signs of physical injury, such as bruising, or signs of anxiety, such as stomach aches, problems sleeping, avoidance of school, or other behaviors that may be associated with bullying.

In addition, some children with ASD may respond with aggression when they are targeted by a bully. In the New York study, one parent described her son's eventual response to repeated tormenting from peers on his school bus: "One day, he ran after one of the girls, and then was kicked out of school. Nothing was done to the girl." 17 This brings us to our next topic: when a child with ASD is labeled as the bully or aggressor.

Continues (long):
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Re: Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby Winnie » Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:45 pm

Wrightslaw: Bullying & Harassment

Link to site to access links and hyperlinks:

According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 50% of children are bullied and l0% are victims of bullying on a regular basis.

Kids who have learning disabilities are especially vulnerable to bullying problems.

On this page you will find information about bullying and harassment, prevention, legal decisions about harassment, and effective ways to respond to bullying.

We have included articles, campaigns, reports, and resources to empower schools, parents, and kids to end bullying and childhood harassment.

New! 12/06/11 US Department of Education Announces Release of State Bullying Laws & Policies.
This new report summarizes current approaches in the 46 states with anti-bullying laws and the 41 states that have created anti-bullying policies as models for schools. State Bullying Laws and Policies Report.

08/16/10 US Department of Education Launches New Website. - Centralized and accessible “one stop” site for federal resources on bullying. US DOE says its will reinvigorate Office for Civil Rights to vigorously investigate complaints of bullying and harassment.

08/11/10 US Department of Education Holds First Ever Bullying Summit. The goal of the summit is to engage governmental and nongovernmental partners in crafting a national strategy to reduce and end bullying.

What Laws Apply to Disability Harassment

Legal Obligations of the School. Guidance letter from the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) regarding bullying and disability harassment and the school's obligation to properly consider whether student misconduct results in discriminatory harassment. (October 26, 2010)

Background, Summary, and Fact Sheet. Harassment and Bullying Guidance Letter (October 26, 2010).

Prohibited Disability Harassment, letter from the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) and the Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS) in the U.S. Department of Education. Disability harassment can have a profound impact on students, raise safety concerns, and erode efforts to ensure that students with disabilities have equal access to the myriad benefits that an education offers.

"States and school districts also have a responsibility under Section 504, Title II, and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), which is enforced by OSERS, to ensure that a free appropriate public education (FAPE) is made available to eligible students with disabilities. Disability harassment may result in a denial of FAPE under these statutes. Parents may initiate administrative due process procedures under IDEA, Section 504, or Title II to address a denial of FAPE, including a denial that results from disability harassment. Individuals and organizations also may file complaints with OCR, alleging a denial of FAPE that results from disability harassment. In addition, an individual or organization may file a complaint alleging a violation of IDEA under separate procedures with the state educational agency. State compliance with IDEA, including compliance with FAPE requirements, is monitored by OSERS' Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP)." Read the letter.

State Laws on Bullying. Some states and the District of Columbia have NO laws on bullying. Find out if your state does. Check the map.

State Anti-Bulllying Policies: A National Landscape. This presentation outlines anti-bullying policies in the 50 states and D.C.


In Preventing Bullying, Linda Lumsden identifies some of the warning signs, examines the problems caused by bullying, and discusses strategies to prevent this pervasive problem.

What Can I Do If My Child Is Being Harassed or Bullied? Dynamics of the bully-victim situation and what parents, kids, teachers, and schools can do about bullying by Jackie Igafo-Te'o.

Protecting Bullies, Not the Bullied, Seems to be the Rule in Our Schools. In Mass, parents are reporting that their children are refusing to go to class, have dropped out of sports, stopped trying to socialize, refused to go to class and in some cases had to change schools - all because they are being bullied.

Talk With Your Child About Bullying. Information about how to discuss bullying with your child.

Your Three Step Plan to Stop Bullying. Learn how to take action at home and work with teachers and administrators to create a safer environment for all children.

The IEP and Bullying. Learn how to work with the IEP team to develop goals and supports for prevention and intervention against bullying.

Bullying, Discipline, and Confidentiality. A special education teacher asked a question about a student’s right to confidentiality after being disciplined by the school.

Best practices in bullying prevention, including cyber-bulling. Read what works-and doesn't work-in bullying prevention and intervention from the Health Resources and Services Administration.

Bullying Among Children and Youth with Disabilities and Special Needs. Research
indicates that these children may be at particular risk of being bullied by their peers.

Continues with resources (long):
"Make it a powerful memory, the happiest you can remember."

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Re: Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby markpeterson79 » Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:57 pm

Often times, there are MANY other explanations for the child’s behavior. Sometimes the explanation is a different diagnosis (other than ADHD) and sometimes it may be other internal struggles the child may coping with. We cover these in great detail in many of our seminars and workshops.

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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:57 pm

Re: Awesome Anti-bullying IEP modifications (Kinda 4 older kid)

Postby mimicry » Sat Mar 17, 2012 8:41 pm

Ironically I was going to bump it today too because I ran across a new movie on bullying.

I am all for keeping information streamlined!
The Bully Project highlights solutions that both address immediate needs and lead to systemic change. Starting with the film’s STOP BULLYING. SPEAK UP! call to action, The Bully Project will catalyze audience awareness to action with a series of tools and programs supported by regional and national partners.

Trailer on YouTube:

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